Tonight

It's coming up on 12 am and my three little girls are fast asleep for the night. And I am up knitting, with dry hands that hurt. Oh, but for the fiber.....
I'm feeling rather nostalgic tonight... lately. Going over lots of thoughts and emotions, making tough decisions and still working on putting things together again. Feeling a yearning... for something, a heaviness in my chest but optimism and looking forward, too. Don't get me wrong, we are doing well here. But sometimes, of late, I slow down a bit and reflect, and feel.
I'm watching my baby grow, too. It's happening too fast, going so quickly. I could have cried as her newborn phase passed. You see, she is the last baby. We had already decided before she was conceived that just one more would do, for several reasons. And that's still what I want but it does pain me to see this babyness go whooshing past at such a break-neck speed.
So, I am taking the time to tickle and kiss all those roly poly parts and breathe deeply that sweet baby smell. And soon I will be enjoying watching, for the last time, my baby crawl and take her first steps.
But, just for now, I think I'll go snuggle in bed with her and soak her up completely.