Friday, March 23, 2012

Heavy

Hmm, well, it's been quite a week here, lots on my mind and I don't know where to begin...
My daddy's health has been sharply declining for the past several years. He had cancer four years ago, had his bladder removed and, though he's been cancer free since, it's been one thing after another health wise. For the past few weeks it seems to be coming to a head once again. They discovered he had a very large kidney stone and were going to have to remove it surgically. His health being so poor this was a major concern. Regardless of the risks, though, it had to be removed and they did so this past Thursday. I waited with my mom... she didn't want to be alone in case it didn't end well. It did, though, thankfully, and now he is home again, recovering. We did learn while he was there that he has emphysema, even though he hasn't smoked in many years. Just another thing to add to the list really. I am relieved that he made it through the surgery and, it seems, that he's avoided some of the consequences that could have came from it. But I still feel as though I'm holding my breath... waiting to see which health issue on 'the list' is going to rear it's ugly head next.
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This is what's been peppering my week and leaving me with a very heavy feeling in my chest and stomach. Grief and worry sitting like a stone right in my core. I'm eager for a time when we can move past this, however we may get there.