Wednesday, August 10, 2011

On Blogging




LinkSo, I have a question for you today... what brings you here? I don't mean here, this blog, I mean to blogging at all. I've been reading different posts lately about how much we share and let our readers into our lives, or don't. And staying or topic, or not. About feelings of inadequacy and not measuring up. And who are we blogging for.
And I've thought about it. We all have to decide what we're comfortable sharing and that's different for everyone. The thing about feeling inadequacy, I think, is when we white wash our lives all of the time when we sit down to blog. A lot of bloggers don't feel comfortable sharing the harder moments of their lives or prefer to always keep it on the positive side and I can't fault them for that. It is difficult to share our vulnerability and our struggles and you can't help but wonder if you're just coming across as whiny and complaining and a general 'negative Nancy'. But here is how I look at blogging....

When I sit down to blog, I think of it as sitting down with a good friend over a cup of coffee. We share our daily lives, anecdotes about our children and family, what we've been up to, updates on particular situations. We share advice and tips and we talk about our struggles, our heartaches, our longings. We share the beauty in our lives, the things that make our heart sing and inspire us.
You, my reader, are like a good friend. No, I don't know you. Though, I am getting to know a handful of you. But this blog is me opening up the back door and inviting you in for a cup and a chat.
I've had 'relationships' with people in the past who held back, not a little but pretty much everything. And these people didn't share anything that was real in themselves, just what I could already see on the outside. Those 'relationships' never last long and for me, I always left them feeling unsatisfied, it was all very surface, you know?
Personally, I feel that I would be inauthentic if I just blogged right through every trouble and when my heart is breaking. Blogging right along with pretty house pictures and crafting goodness and my children being marvelously well behaved and playing together peacefully... when in all honestly, I'm falling apart. It doesn't mean I can't share the goodness in times like these, it's therapeutic, I think, to focus on beauty and positive things. But I think I would be untrue, to my reader and myself, if I didn't stop in just to say, 'It's really hard for me right now, or just moments ago the children were on the verge of sending me into a nervous break down, or whatever!' (This isn't going on right now, just so you know.) And I believe it helps my readers connect with me, and perhaps say 'Yes!, this is exactly where I am and it's nice to know I am not alone and life does still go on, beautifully, in fact.'
Sure, there's lots that you don't know about me. That I don't share because it's too intimate or because I fear judgment. But right here, I am trying to be authentic, for both of us. People blog for a lot of reasons, and this kind of sharing isn't always applicable or appropriate. But I am blogging to reach out to like minded mamas and families, to make a connection and to share and be inspired by all the loveliness that is in my little corner of the blogging world. I have met some really beautiful women here and the connection was made out of empathy. We connect, we relate to one another and when we visit one another's blog it's like keeping up with each other lives, not like being shown a lovely yet unattainable vision that, while pleasant to view, doesn't connect with me.

I guess that's all I'm saying.. I blog to connect and share. Why do you blog?

Oh, and if I am ever thought to be 'white washing', perhaps I should put a tab on top, linking to all the nitty gritty. Because, believe me, any new readers, it's there!

Comments (6)

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When I read The Dairy of Anne Frank when I was 12 years old I started keeping a journal. By the time I got married at 22 I had dozens of notebooks I had written in. Mostly I wrote about the things I had done that day.

A few days before I got married I destroyed all of my notebooks. I was scared my husband might read parts of it and become jealous. I also thought I was starting a new life, a fresh start and I did not need them.

A few years later I was sorry I had not kept them. That is why I started blogging. Mostly my blog is recipes, crafts and thrifty living. I guess I blog for me. So I can look back and remember. If someone stumbles I on blog and is able to take something away from it that is special to me.

Julie, I have been following you for a few weeks and love your blog. I do feel like we are sharing a cup of tea together when I stop by.
I started blogging in May of 2000. It wasn't called blogging then, it was journaling - I was a part of LiveJournal. It was bitching and moaning and whining. It was connecting with people. Looking back, a lot of it was embarassing. But since I met my husband through LJ, I guess I can't complain too much.

After growing up some and having kids I joined blogger. Originally for the purpose of reviewing books and later, after being inspired by so many other bloggers it seemed only natural to join in.

Why do I blog now? I have no idea. For the social aspect, maybe. As a way to look back and remember? Because it's fun? All of the above? Quite possibly because I need somewhere to babble that isn't in the comments of someone else's blog? (:
Oh what a good question. I love to write. When I left work to stay at home with my kids, the way I used my mind changed a little bit; this became my way of staying sharp and now it is another way for me to stay connected.
Julie, I grew up writing and I have been unable to do it until really this minute. My blog was rather impersonal, really just a documentary of classes I have taught, and I have really only recently shifted. It has been so warmng and inviting and inspiring to both begin to follow blogs and change the feel of mine as well. Great question. And, btw, the first more personal entry I wrote was sweet but not white washed but from the heart.
I blog to tell my story. We all have one and I don't white wash any of it. You get me warts and all. A glimpse into one woman's family life. It has also given me a place to share stories of my own mother and her diarys that I found after her death and a place to speak from the heart of my children loves, aches, joy and pain. God has been good in giving me a blog. Otherwise I'd still be under that bushel basket.
I love your blog.
Anne
Dear Julie,
I appreciate this post! I began blogging a few years ago to keep family updated and then decided to go public about a year and a half ago. I do not feel that I whitewash things- I share when I'm tired, overwhelmed, not feeling well, but I do feel that in general my blog focuses on the positive. I don't feel completely comfortable sharing the deepest knitty gritty, I save that for close friends or family, people who truly know me and understand where I'm coming from. I guess with my blog I am not sure exactly who is reading and I've had some difficulty with that at times! I truly hope my readers understand that although I don't always share it, that my life is by no means perfect.
I love your blog- I feel that while you share the hard times, your blog is a positive, beautiful, and inspirational place to visit!
<3

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